Healing, according to the New Oxford American Dictionary, is “the process of making or becoming sound or healthy again”.
One of the things that annoys me most is that part of living is being hurt by others and it being our own responsibility to heal. This does not excuse the offender’s actions or make pain/trauma a casual thing to be glossed over or downplayed. But it is a real part of life: the one who caused the harm— though they are in the right to own up to their actions and make amends— they are in no way responsible for the wounded party’s healing.
I’m not sure how fair it is that when someone else harms another, it becomes the victim’s responsibility to do the work to move through the wound, to come out on the other side “sound or healthy again”. To me, this sounds and feels a little like a slap.
While I believe there should be time for rest and ease and that we can be patient and kind to ourselves and others who are hurting, I’m not sure healing should feel good. Like getting stitches or resetting a broken bone, pain is going to accompany proper healing. My hope for us is that in the midst of the pain we choose grace, honor and a willingness to let time do its part. I believe in you and I believe the best for you.